Marriage is:

36. Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

35. A very elderly couple is having an elegant dinner to celebrate their 75th wedding anniversary. The old man leans forward and says softly to his wife "Dear, there is something that I must ask you. It has always bothered me that our tenth child never quite looked like the rest of our children. Now I want to assure you that these 75 years have been the most wonderful experience I could have ever hoped for, and your answer can not take that all that away. But,.. I must know, did he have a different father?" The wife drops her head, unable to look her husband in the eye, she paused for moment and then confessed. "Yes. Yes he did." The old man is very shaken, the reality of what his wife was admitting hit him harder than he had expected. With a tear in his eye he asks "Who?.. Who was he? Who was the father?" Again the old woman drops her head, saying nothing at first as she tried to muster the courage to tell the truth to her husband. Then, finally, she says "You."

34. Poor girl -- she's working like a horse to get a groom.

33. The perfect marriage:
- In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
- In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
- In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

32. Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence (a life sentence)

31. Marriage is very much like a violin; after the sweet music is over, the strings are still attached.

30. Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore marriage is an institution for the blind.

29. Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her Master's.

28. Marriage is a thing which puts a ring on a woman's finger, and two under the man's eyes.

27. Marriage certificate is just another word for a work permit.

26. "WIFE" is an abbrviation for: Worries Inherited For Ever.

25. Marriage requires a man to prepare 4 types of "RINGS": The Engagement
Ring, The Wedding Ring, The Suffe-ring, The Endu-ring

24. Married life is full of excitement and frustration: In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman>listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen!

23. It is true that love is blind but marriage is definitely an eye-opener.

22. It's true that all men are born free and equal-but some of them get married!

21. A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking; the husband gives and the wife takes.

20. Son : How much does it cost to get married, Dad?
Father: I don't know son, I'm still paying for it.

19. Son : Is it true? Dad, I heard that in ancient China, a man didn't know his wife until he married her.
Father: That happens everywhere son - EVERYWHERE!!!

18. There was a man who said, "I never knew what happiness was until I got married.... and then it was too late!"

17. Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.

16. They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage,it is love; after marriage it is self-defense.

15. Marriages are made in heaven - but so's thunder and lightning!

14. When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.

13. There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for her. They got married, and now he is going through hell!

12. A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he's finished.

11. It's not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems longer.

10. I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months -- I don't like to interrupt her.

9. No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her garbage.

8.Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out.

7.A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

6. Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.

5. Marriage is when a man and woman become as one;
the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

4.Get married anyway. If you get a good wife you will be happy. If not, at least you will become a philosopher.

3. 1950's - Woman saves wedding dress for her daughter's wedding. 1990's - Woman saves wedding dress for her next wedding.

2. Q. Why do men lie?
A. Because women are so inquisitive?

1. Somebody asked Shaw: "Do you believe that is one who marries on Friday whole life unhappy."
"Of course, I belive it," answered dramatist.
"Why should be Friday an exception."