DIFERENT STORY

Once Narada asked Hanuman to sing. Hanuman shyly begged off, but Narada insisted. Hanuman said, "If I sing, you'll be in trouble." Narada said, "How can you cause me trouble? Just sing." "But who will keep time?" "I will," Narada answered, and he began clapping, after putting his vina down on a stone. While singing, that stone began to melt. Then Sugriva asked Narada, "Are you satisfied?" Narada said, "Yes, he's a wonderful singer." "So stop, then," ordered Sugriva. "Alright, but Narada Muni will be in difficulty. Narada just laughed. But the stone hardened around the vina, and Narada couldn't pick it up again.

S.P. said, "Their (his disciples) kirtana is different."

When at one pandal program one man explained how a yogi trickster had made magic by turning a handful of sand into grains, S.P. answered, "My disciples would have no interest in that."

When S.P. saw Pradyumna carrying his sanskrit books, he called him a donkey.

According to the karma-kanda, if one has not had proper cremation, then whatever pious activities were due cannot accrue. When he again gets a chance for all proper samskaras in some future life, then only will the pious reactions manifest themselves.

The story of the servant who gave his guru cardomon after one meal and haritaki after another.

A south Indian pandit demanded that any book written in the kingdom be brought to him for examination. If he found one mistake, he would order that the author's ears be cut off. One day, when the queen became angry with the king and locked herself in her chamber, the king asked the pandit to do something. He decided to coax her out with verses of praise which he composed on the spot. Hearing his words, she double-locked the door in great anger. Then the king got one young pandit to try, and he succeeded in pleasing the queen, who came out. For this, the king made the young man the court pandit. His first request was, "cut the ears off the old pandit."

SP told a story about a king and his minister, who were both big, proud men of great authority. One day the minister came before the king with a shaved head. The king asked, "Oh, panditji, why your head is now shaved?" He answered, last night my wife was angry and would not be pacified unless I shaved up" (signifying he is her disciple). The king answered, "Yes, well last night my wife was also angry with me and would only be pacified by riding me around our quarters as if she was riding a horse."

Sahadeva wrote a big book on all kinds of animals, their varnas, their languages, customs, and so on.

How Buddhism and Jainism started: the spiritual master of the demons, Shukracharya, was arranging to bring amrita from heaven so that the demons would become immortal. In the meantime, Brhashpati, spiritual master of the demigods, took the form of Shukracharya and went to the asura-loka. The demons inquired, "Guru maharaja, have you brought us amrita?" He answered, "No, I met Lord shiva and he said it is not necessary. If you simply practice total ahimsa, you'll become so powerful that nobody can kill you. Lord Shiva sent two persons to teach this religion to you (the two persons were Vishnu's amshas - one the Buddha, the other the Jain). And beware that the demigods will send a illusiory form of myself to tell you this is all cheating and thus bewilder you." So the two amshas started their training - they stopped the sacrifices of the demons and got them to practice ahimsa. Meanwhile the real Shukracharya returned, but was challenged by the guards, who refused to believe that he was genuine. Finally he found out that the demons believed him to have already returned and that there were two renunciates teaching ahimsa. He warned the demons, "Now you are finished. I am the real Shukracharya, and if you call the Asura-raja I can prove it. That other is an imposter. By following the ahimsa religion, you'll lose all strength. The demigods will surely attack you in the near future, seeing your weak condition." Though the demons finally believed him, by this time many of their number were staunch converts to the new religion.

Ramanujacharya, just before leaving his body, gave 74 final instructions, all about serving Vaishnavas. For instance, one should feed them nice preparations and make them so happy they smile; one should massage their legs until they fall asleep; one should walk with them to the end of the village, and then nine steps beyond, and then faint. His main instructions were 2: surrender to guru, and serve the Vaishnavas.

Once Ramanuja was walking along with his 5 top sannyasi disciples.

Stopping by a pond, he took some prasadam and threw half of it in the water for the fish. Then he got up to walk on. Just then the fish who had taken the prasadam assumed four-handed forms and rose up in the air, returning home, back to Godhead. The 5 sannyasis stopped. Ramanuja turned and asked them why they were not following. They said, "We are thunder-struck. Please explain what we have just seen. Otherwise, how can we follow behind you in this condition?" Ramanuja answered, "You've seen the power of taking maha-prasadam." They answered, "But we are taking your maha-prasadam daily, and this is not happening to us." Ramanuja said, "These creatures have no free will, and therefore make no offense. So they get full benefit at once. But you with your free will and human intelligence make offenses, and thus you hinder your own progress."

Another time Ramanuja was talking with his sannyasi disciples, and they asked him how they would ever be able to understand the deep philo-sophy he had written. He said, "What I have written ultimately means simply one thing - prapatti (surrender)." But they continued to argue that they would not be able to fully comprehend his writings. then he told a sannyasi disciple to bring one deaf and dumb tailor who was just walking by. When the man came, Ramanuja asked them all to leave him alone with this man. So they got up and left, but one disciple looked into the room from a window outside. Ramanuja stood up and motioned to the man to touch his feet. The tailor made full dandavats and began to tremble and cry in ecstacy as he touched Ramanujas lotus feet. When the disciples returned, they were amazed to see this man's ecstacy, symptomatic of the highest transcendental realization. They asked, "How could such a thing like this happen to him." Ramanuja answered, "He touched my feet in full surrender. Although he cannot under-stand one word of philosophy, being deaf and dumb, he has attained all perfection."

SP wrote in a letter to a Godbrother (Daya [?] Govinda Shastri) in Puri, "Until my western disciples are received in Jagannatha temple with full temple honors, I shall not enter the mandir."

Ramanuja was Shesha-amsha. Madhva was Vayu-amsha.

Hanuman was Vayu-Shiva-amsha. Once Indra visited Satya-loka. There he saw a beautiful apsara in the court of Brahma, and there was attraction between them. After Indra left, Brahma, sensing that impurity had befallen the girl, told her to leave Brahma-loka.

She came to earth and began to do penance to return to Satya-loka.

She wished for the benediction of Lord Shiva that she might do this. After attaining perfection in her penance, she could enter Kailash. Nandi at first was doubtful if she could enter, but Shiva declared she had earned the right. So, her desire was to request Lord Shiva to arrange that she go back to Satya-loka, but before she could even ask, Lord Shiva made her pregnant. She then told him this was not her desire. So he entrusted the conception to Agni, who could not keep it as it was so powerful. He in turn gave it to Vayu.

Meanwhile, back on earth, Anjana and her husband, after trying long to get a chiled, became vanaprastha. But suddenly, while picking flowers, Anjana felt herself pregnant. She demanded in the name of the Dikpalas who had done this, and Vayu revealed himself.

So she gave birth to Hanuman. Then she also returned to the heavenly world, because she had formerly been an Apsara who had kissed Brihashpati, who had said, "Since you behave like a monkey, become a monkey."

Hanuman asked her as she was leaving, "How will I eat?" She said, pointing at the sun, "Anything round and red like that is your food." So he jumped to snatch the sun.

Raghava, disciple of Madhvacharya, was Prahlada-amsha. His disciples walled him alive into his samadhi (on his order), and for many years after-wards he would give instructions from within the samadhi. Raghava was known for being in different places simultaneously - he'd be in the goshalla, in the kitchen, doing puja and singing for the Deity in the temple all at the same time.

Hanuman could have killed Vali, but the sun had asked him not to.

(Hanuman had accepted the sun as his guru).

In Brhad-bhagavamrta a cowherd boy, in competition with Yamuna-devi, became a river when Krishna desired to bath. When Krishna desired to dry himself, the river became a towel. When Krishna desired to hang up the towl, the devotee divided himself into towel and tree. And when Krishna was ready to go on, the cowherd boyfriend manifested from the tree.

Someone asked Narada, "You are in Goloka, in Vaikuntha, in Brahma-loka, in Swetadwipa, and in Mayapur with Sri Chaitanya Mahaprabhu. Are there many Naradas?" Narada answered by asking some questions of his own: "Is the Lord omnipresent?" "Yes." "Is the Lord ever alone?" "No." "So, since the devotees are always with the Lord, are the devotees omnipre-sent?" "Yes." "Now you have your answer."

Bhaktivinode Thakur writes that devotees are omnipresent to a certain extent - a devotee may be engaged in a relationship with Lord Krishna in Goloka, with Lord Vasudeva in Dvaraka and with Lord Rama in Ayodhya, for instance.

Parashurama asked Lord Rama to destroy his "mamata."

Daya(?)-Govinda Shastri and "Abhaya Babu" in Ultadanga Road.

In Varanasi was a devotee of Bindu Madhava who used to underline verses in the Bhagavad-gita. Once he accidentally marked a word in a verse. Then, while taking bath, he saw one little boy crying. He asked, why are you crying, and the boy answered, someone has scratched me, showing all kinds of scratch marks. Oh, who has done this cruel thing, asked the man. The boy beckoned for him to follow. The boy took the man to his own house, and said, he lives here. The man went inside to see who was there, not understanding that he himself was being accused. He saw nobody there, and went out again, but the boy was gone. So when he told this event to senior devotees, they examined his activities carefully and determined that this happened because of his habit of marking the Bhagavad-gita.

When persons fall out of heaven, there are demons waiting in space to attack them. They are severely bitten by them and cry. Their souls enter their tears, and the tears become the rain that falls to earth.

Ramanuja's brother was the Shivacharya. Some Sri Vaishnavas came to that place of the Shivacharya and daily had class under the Nagalingam tree where the Shivacharya would pick flowers for puja. So each day he was hearing. Then one day when he heard the statement, "One who fails to worship Lord Vishnu is simply wasting his life," he fell from that tree in great lamentation. Thus he too became a Vaishnava. This story is also admitted by the Shaivites, though they try to say he was somehow drugged by the Vaishnavas and lost his sense.

dillika laaddu yo khaayaa yo pastaayaa

yo nahi khaayaa yo bhi pastaayaa

(ladu of lamentation)

SP told a story of Gour Kishore dasa Babaji: a king wanted him to come to his palace as a blessing upon his family and court. GKdB repeatedly refused this request. But the king was insistent, to the point where it seemed he would exercise his royal authority and order GKdB to go. So GKdB inquired, "You are ordering me to come?" The king replied, "No, no. I am simply re-questing. I want to serve you. I will do what you want. You just come." So GKdB asked, "You'll do whatever I want?" The king said, "Oh, yes, yes!" So GKdB answered, "Then stay here and chant Hare Krishna."

SP told a story of a man who was sent by a village to buy cloth and not get cheated. When he returned, they tested the cloth and found it to be flimsy and useless. So they said, "You were cheated by rascals." He said, "No, they were Vaisnavas, so how could they cheat?" "Vaisnavas? Impossible." "It's true! I looked all over the bazaar and found these three who were chanting the holy names of the Lord. When I came to their stall, one called to the others, "Kesab!" Another answered, "Gopal!" And the third shouted "Hari! Hari!" The villagers groaned and said, "Foolish one, when the one said Ke Sahib, he was asking, who is this gentleman? The second one answered, Gopal, meaning, he's just a villager. And the third one said, Hari hari, let's steal, let's steal!"

One sadhu was walking with his disciples and was conversing with them, when the group happened upon a dying python that was covered with insects which were already feeding upon the python's body. The sadhu became grave and didn't speak for some time. Finally one disciple asked him why he was so thoughtful; he answered, "In that snake's last life, he was a guru. The insects were his disciples."

Krishna met a brahmin from Dwaraka as he returned there from the Kuruksetra war; brahmin asked what happened. I washed horses. No, there was a war, so what was outcome. Alright, 100 died, 5 lived. Why? Were you partial to the Pandavas? No, the Kauravas got my army. But still, you are in everyone's heart, and you give inspiration to those who are dear to you and those who oppose you to meet their respective fates. But your devotees always triumph, so that means you favor them. Krishna didn't answer. Brahmin said I am leaving, went off into desert. When he was thirsty, he prayed to the Lord for water. Krishna appeared and gave him water; brahmin wanted to continue on, but Krisna forced him to get in chariot and return Dwaraka. Moral: Krishna does not interfere with fate of nondevotees, but interferes with devotee's fate.

Cowherd came to Vyasatirtha, "I want a job". Alright, but fearing opinion of other disciples, he avoided initiating. Krishna helped cowherd wash cows by fetching water for him. VT observed, why not, He's also a cowherd bpy. Finally gave him Mahisha mantra, mahisha came to pull out rock. (Yama mahisha). VT initiated, telling disciples, if he chants Hare Krsna, what result he'll get?

Narayana threw Swetadwipa stone at Laxmi, became Ananta-giri.

Padmavati was Laxmi, took birth as King's daughter. Govinda in anthill.

King's cowherd wanted to beat cow (Brahma, sold by Indra), but hit Srinivasa. Srini taken in by Babajini. She arranged marriage between Padmavati and Srinivasa, Kuvera gave the dowry. Later, Vairagya Laxmi (back in Vaikuntha, who came down looking for Srinivasa) had fight with Padmavati; Srini went to Vaikuntha, leaving murti form. Tilaka from too-big diamond tilaka.

The alwar, his poet-servant, and the Lord who rolled up His mat.

(Poet's poems not appreciated as he was low-class, when asked to leave temple, Alwar said, yes, let's go. Lord followed also. People came behind, Alwar stopped, Deity rolled out his mat and laid down. Then Alwar was pacified, Diety rolled up mat and they returned to temple. (Kanchi)

Story of Prakash Rao. He didn't want appointment as executive officer at Tirupati. Wife is a devotee, mother a Gaudiya. Kids got sick. He had dream, Srinivasa said Come here and clean up these irregularities so he went. Kids took carinamrta and were cured. But he didn't want pictures of the diety in his office. went to Viraraghava Swami temple, laughed when he heard ghee, jaggery offering in tank curing disease, especially skin disease. But then and there his kids got sick, wife convinced offering should be made, was done at last and kids were cured. Converted when he had a dream - go immediately to an old man who should get musical award. Also there will be an accident on the bus route tomorrow at 6 pm, so have emergency crew ready. Gave kilometer point. He went to old man who was just leaving body, gave award and Diety garland. When he returned he was told acceident happened at 5:45; crew was prepared. Stopped drinking and garlic use in dhama, was unpopular, after 3 years transfer ordered was sent, he placed it at lotus feet of Srinivasa saying, it is up to you. Narasringha Rao met the chief administrator, "Oh, he is trained by me so take good care of him." Then after 2nd term he was transferred, but his office is right next to ISKCON Hyderabad. He chants 16 rounds daily.

Story of Srila Bhaktisiddhanta and old man who stayed with him for 3 days, discussing privately: "My guru returned, but I did not see him."

Story of disciples serving (and breaking) the feet of their guru.

Dhruva M. was corrected by Svayambhuva; shows that even great devotees sometimes need to consult.

Example of Sarvabhauma (Brhaspati) becoming conditioned after his birth to participate in LC's pastimes.

Naimasaranya as hub of universe - the sages wanted to benefit all living beings by their association.

Ramanuja-Kuresh story: Kuresh didn't want to ask anything for himself, but Ramanuja said, your body is not yours, its mine, and it is incomplete, so your service is incomplete. Ask in name of your guru for your sight.

"Tiger water" story about 16 yr old girl and her 70 yr old mother-in-law hearing SB, "chant HK and cross the ocean of material suffering."

Nilacala (J Puri), Sundaracala (Vrndavana)

Radharani is guru of Krsna. Stays up whole night behind berry tree to see Radha. Bathes downstream from Her bathing. Dresses as washerwoman to beg Radha's clothes, or as gandhini to smear sandal on Her face, or as barber's wife to paint Her feet red. (Anukula bhakti - for who else would Krsna do this?)